Pages

Thursday, 27 September 2012

Anniversary

A year ago on September 25, 2011 I woke up married, although, I couldn't exactly remember that I was married. This is part of my story that I haven't told entirely. I woke up at about 5:30 am (I think it was about 5:30) on September 25, 2011 and I could only vaguely piece together what was happening to me. I felt like I had been hit by a bus. It was like someone sitting on my brain, and I needed them to get off of it. I couldn't see straight, think straight, or exactly remember what happened. Once I pressed my brain hard enough, after this horrible nurse lectured me that I was going to have a hangover, which at that particular moment didn't make any sense to me, I was able to recall the final moment of the evening which was pretty blurry - and that was taking pictures with my Photographers by the fire place. Yes, I was married.

I have spent the last couple of days re living moments of our wedding and remembering all of the beautiful moments. Sometimes I just lie down and close my eyes and let my brain get flooded with memories of the past years, just because I can remember, because a year ago I thought I wasn't ever going to remember properly again.

Our anniversary has not just meant a year of marriage it has also meant a year of remission, which I am so thankful for. Those of you with this disease will understand when I say that I have still had flares, my most recent being a few weeks ago, however, I have successfully managed to stay out of a relapse. We are comfortably settled in the North, and the most amazing thing is I have a fast paced, full time job that demands me to fire on all cylinders. If you had asked me, or any of my Doctors a year ago if I would be working in that capacity, we would have all said no. But I do!

I still sometimes struggle with drumming words up in my head or tripping over words, but I know that it will only last a little while and then I will come back again. I practise reading, and push my writings skills, and challenge my linguistic skills. We did it as children, why not as adults?

September 24, 25, 26, and 27 will forever be special to me as it was when I married my best friend and found out I was diagnosed with a rare disease that forced me to choose the path in life I always wanted to choose. Isn't that funny about us? That we wait for something big in our lives to happen before we listen to our inner voice that is telling us to do what makes us happy?

I hope that each and everyone of you who comes across my blog doesn't wait until your memories start slipping out of your mind and your mind becomes a blur. I hope you don't wait until the day you wake up each morning with flu-like symptoms and pain in your arms that you have to ignore and smile through so that nobody notices. I hope you don't wait until you are too tired to do anything. I hope you just don't wait. Hug, kiss, try something new, and do what inspires you, lights your flame, and makes you smile a thousand smiles.

I will probably update again closer to my next Neuro appointment in November! I am meeting with my neurologist again - everything should hopefully be moving forward toward good health and the hopes that in the near future we can start planning for a family :)

Some people including my Doctors have asked why I haven't gone to the Mayo Clinic yet. It's simple, I am having fun right now. I feel good and I do comprehend that as much should be done preventatively, but right now I am enjoying being 30, married, and working. I need that right now, and when I feel the moment is right, if there ever is a moment again that is needed to be right, I will go to the Mayo Clinic. Sometimes having fun though is better than hearing another perspective :)

I hope this finds everyone well and healthy on their journey!

Soar High and Live in the Moment!

No comments:

Post a Comment