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Sunday, 10 June 2012

Results

Well I finally found some time in my busy schedule to update my blog to say that my results were AWESOME!!! I also have to say that it feels so good to say that I have a busy schedule :) There are so many of us that complain about work and how much we work,  and that we have to go to work, and ask when is our next break, lunch, day over etc...but if work was taken away from you, and you were forced to sit on your couch while everyone else continued making money, and continued their independence....do you think you would miss it? Really think about it? Of course for the first few weeks it would feel like the most amazing vacation, but then imagine, you can't do much but rest, and you can't go anywhere because you are not making money, and you can't share in stories with your friends because you are not working....so really you are the odd man out. Daytime TV, is terrible, reading becomes tedious, and everyone will tell you to get a hobby....to the point that people telling you to get a hobby becomes a hobby. Everyday is Friday. I am in love with working again, I love that I have somewhere to go, something to think about, and something to strive towards. I love that I have something to identify with and most of all something to feel passionate about. I probably will never complain about when is it Friday again...because I know there is someone out there waiting for a Monday to come back into their schedule.

I found out on Monday that I have no new lesions or progressions. I was elated, however I didn't think I did as I feel very sharp and clear in my mind right now. I will be flying back down to have my eyes checked out as I have been having a bit of light sensitivity, which is a common problem with white matter diseases, and to do some peripheral nerve testing. Beyond that....I am good to go until November :). I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off....I will be at my one year mark at the same time I have been married for a year. What a better way to celebrate an anniversary then to be in full remission :).



I feel pretty lucky and fortunate right now. I have a career that entails everything I could have ever wanted in a career and I am married to a man that has stood by some pretty scary things in the first six months of marriage, and I have ridden through a relapse of my disease straight to remission :).

I hope you enjoy this photo! I chose it because my grandmother is just so strong right now. In January she fought back tremendously from a deep stroke. She still smiles, remembers, and has lively conversations. It has always been my grandparents that have taught me resilience. She is a beautiful woman to the core. 

Until the next blog!

In Health and Wellness,

Colleen :)


Monday, 4 June 2012

Results Day

Today is results day. To anyone who has had to receive medical results for themselves or for a family member they know what this day is like. In the days leading up to today it feels like you are somersaulting through emotions - sometimes flying through moments because you just don't know how to feel anymore.

In my situation, which is not really that unique, I haven't lived the diagnosis for that long. Prior to September the results day often just meant another day of seeing the doctors where they would speculate another disease path or tell me their theory on what was happening with my body - giving me some positivity with that hint of "who knows what is going to happen" - always enlightening for a young person in their twenties.

Now that I have the diagnosis...it is hard to still believe, hear, and read the results. Sometimes it feels like I am living someone else's life that I can't help, control, or change. There is a part of me that feels that if I eat healthy, rid myself of as many chemicals such as parabens, sulphates, etc (this was a new kick I got on this last progression) and take my medications then I will halt this disease in its tracks. It makes me feel that I have some control.

For anyone going through this though, there is the sadness of the still what is lost, the anger towards what is happening, and fear of the unpredictability of the disease. These are natural feelings to feel, and I can say that I feel them each and every time that I go forward to results appointments, and so do many other people I know who face disease.

At least I can happily say that despite whatever is said today, I will still go back to Fort St. John at the end of today to a career that I love and my husband that I love. Two things that I thought would never happen because of having a chronic disease but did. So either way, I am happy, and as my Auntie says there are angels on all of our shoulders :)

Stay tuned for the results....and here is some "little Miss Sunshine" to brighten some dreary Vancouver weather...someone asked me to bring the Fort St. John sun...I tried but here, I will try a little harder ;)